Contrived byPatty Jacobberger (thanks Patty).

RULES FOR PLAY 1) One or more cats and/or kittens may compete. 2) Poopies used must be good and dry and preferably rounded and small in order to roll properly and fit into the various goals. 3) A non-carpeted floor should be used as the playing court (e.g.,a cage floor, kitchen floor, bathroom floor, etc.). 4) To be played at night - just as owners are about to fall asleep. 5) Object of the game - 250 points to be scored within an 8-hour period of time, divided into 4 1-hour periods of play interchanged with 4 1-hour periods of rest. 6) If this game is played within the show hall, the cat MUST make certain that an audience of spectators and breeders is present. This is done to properly embarass the owner.
SCORING
1 Retrieval of poopies from potty pan:
a. Two-paws retrieval.................2 points
b. One-paw retrieval...................5 points
c. Retrieval of poopie not conforming to proper structure-Subtract 5 points
2. Dribbling poopies: a. Non-stop to within 4 feet of potty pan.....................................3 points
b. Non-stop across kitchen............................................................5points
c. Non-stop from pan, through kitchen into livingroom................7 points
d. C done in presence of owners dinner company.........................10 points
3. Passing of poopies in the air at least two seconds:
a. One kitty toss in the air...........................................3 points
b. Completed forward pass..........................................5 points
c. If poopie shatters on impact...................................10 points
4 Goals in Roller Poopie: a. Under the stove or refrigerator................................5 points
b. Under furniture with 1" clearance..........................10 points
c. Dead center on food plate.......................................15 points
d. Water dish...............................................................25points
5. Bonus points: a. water dish goals: For every hour before discovery....................................5 points If points.
b. For placing in 3am path to bathroom so owner steps on it with bare feet... 10 points. If stepped on with fleshy part of arch......................15 points
c. Movement of poopie up the stairs: With mouth (never observed)....................................5 points Using paws (one step at a time)..............................15 points On wood steps between midnite and 6 am..............20 points d. Nightime bonus: After lights out....................................................5 points After 2 am..........................................................10 points If owner confiscates and cat gets another in play within 10 minutes...................................15 points

As you probably guessed, there are DEGREES OF DIFFICULTY points that can be awarded - but, thats another story. For now, if you have observed your cats playing this challenging game, you may wish to score them using this guide.

1.My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator. 2.My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job. 3.My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools. 4.My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity. 5.My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator. 6.My cat does not yowl, he is singing off-key. 7.My cat is not a "shedding machine", she is a hair relocation stylist. 8.My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile", she enjoys the proximity of food. 9.My cat is not a bed hog, he is a mattress appreciator. 10.My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next. 11.My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative. 12.My cat is not a lap fungus, he is bed selective. 13.My cat is not a pest, she is attention deprived. 14.My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert. 15.My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced. 16.My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced. 17.My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture. 18.My cat is not lazy, he is motivationally challenged. 19.My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination (the food dish!).

1 Spice or German Chocolate Cake Mix
1 White Cake Mix
1 Pkg White Sandwich Cookies
1 large pkg Vanilla Instant Pudding Mix
Green food coloring and 12 small Tootsie Rolls
1 *new* kitty litter box, 1 *new* kitty litter box, plastic liner, 1 *new* pooper scooper

Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions (any size pans). Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble. Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in blender, they tend to stick, so scrape often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup cookie crumbs, add a few drops green food coloring and mix using a fork or shake in a jar. When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining white cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. You probably won't need all of the pudding, mix with the cake and "feel" it, you don't want it soggy, just moist; gently combine. Line new, clean kitty litter box. Put mixture into litter box. Put three unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat with 3 more Tootsie rolls and bury in mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly over the top, this is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter. Heat remaining Tootsie Rolls, 3 at a time in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with cookie crumbs. This is my addition--only: spread 5 of the remaining Tootsie Rolls over the top; take one and heat until pliable, hang it over the side of the kitty litter box; sprinkling it lightly with cookie crumbs. Place the box on a newspaper and sprinkle a few of the cookie crumbs around. Serve with a *new* pooper scooper.

*Note:* I purchased a new plastic dishpan and scooper just to have on hand for making these.